Ponderings of a Trailblazer
I’ve made my fair share of decisions over the last couple weeks, but none as important as the following two:
- I’m leaving my job in December to focus on my own goals in life
- I’m moving into a more professional market come the new year.
I’m terrified of these decisions, but I honestly feel that it’s what I need to do to make myself happy. I think that it’s the right decision to make, despite how terrifying it is to make life-altering decisions like this.
Let me address decision number 1 first:
I’m not happy with my current job. I’m not happy being stuck in one spot, I never have been. Having to wake up only to go into work and serve people a product isn’t what I want to do with my life. I feel trapped, I feel glued down, and I feel stuck. When I think of going to work, all I feel is despair and disappointment with a side of a possible anxiety attack. I don’t want to be earning money for someone else for the rest of my life. I want to be free. I want to do what I want when I want, and how I want.
I decided I’d rather quit my job and focus on my schoolings while getting Blaze-in’ The Trails media up and off the ground, using school to focus and sharpen the tools I have, using my schooling to give me that razor-sharp edge that I so need, and I’ll be using portions of my student loan to sink some finances into the media company while I have the money in hopes of having something to fall back on, something that will pay the bills when I’m done. I plan to grow this company into something that is sustainable.
Now for decision number 2:
This decision ties into number one as well, but I wanted to highlight the fact that I’ve spent the last month of my life designing a brand new website in my free time for Blaze-in’ The Trails Media. It’s not just what some people know as the blog. It’s a complete, bonafide website, and it’s been turned into a one-stop shop for people who wish to know more about me, my team, the company’s approach to things and it’s got a professional style blog integrated into it. It even has room for full team bios and portfolios. I’m still not perfectly happy with the layout, but this is just me nitpicking about things until I officially release the website for public viewing.
Leaving everything I’ve been taught to do for the last 13 years is a terrifying prospect. I’ve been taught that to survive, I must have a job, I must earn money, and I must be a good employee lest my boss get rid of me. I must go in, do my job, keep my head down and go home in order to earn a pitiful amount of cash which the company decides is adequate compensation for my time, effort and energy, and in some cases the toll this takes on my body. This mentality has led, in part, to mental and physical health issues.
I know I’m capable of so much more. I aim to prove this. I aim to chase my dreams, I aim to make something of myself, and I aim to show the world what I can do. I’m done playing by rules that someone else designed to keep me in essentially what is servitude. I’m letting loose a battle cry:
Move over world. I’m coming for you.